Teen Mom ( A Preface)
I was always a "good" kid. I grew up sheltered under my father, whom gave me the world. I had friends who did not partake in "extracurricular activities" if you know what I mean. I was the preacher's daughter (not technically but you catch my drift). So having a kid at 17 wasn't in my book. Or so I thought. God's Plan? I'm pretty sure he's just screwing with me at this point.
I mean West African culture is totally and I do mean TOTALLY different from Western (American) culture. The kids here are not interested in drugs, partying and skipping class. Due to their lack of better resources; they take what they can get and LEARN. They learn their little hearts out. Even the kids that went to an international private school I attended. So after 10 years of living in West Africa, my father decides he wants to retire from working for the U.S Embassy and move to Nevada. Yup. Viva Las Vegas. Sin City. Mob City. Turn Up Town. Whatever. What was my 16 year old self going to do in a City like that? Get knocked up within 2 years of living there of course? You guessed correctly.
On February 15, 2014 I gave birth to a baby boy who I named Jayden (no I did not give him my last name to save him from social embarrassment and bullying that I had to endure, even into adulthood). He literally changed my entire world. Imagine being the pregnant girl in AP biology, English honors and AP psychology. Right. Your smart yet dumb. Book smart, but definitely not street smart. I mean you would think that someone as academically successful as I was would use a condom right? Hah. Let us all laugh together. I thought I was invincible from becoming pregnant. You hear how to be careful and that it happens but you never actually think it’s going to happen to you... until it does. Anyway senior year I had to take off almost 3 weeks of school to take care of my newborn baby. He was born on a Saturday and I vowed to get up early Monday morning and go to school NO MATTER WHAT. I was not going to end up another statistic. African American females in the U.S who get pregnant before graduating high school and end up in poverty for the rest of their lives. Sorry but that was not going to be me.
Needless to say all the sleepless nights he kept me up breastfeeding, soothing and comforting made me extremely exhausted and I did not make it to school that Monday. My doctor told me to take 6 weeks off to heal but in 6 weeks the semester would be over. So I emailed my professors and told them that I had just given birth and my stepmom would go down to the school for me and retrieve my homework. At least I had support. So after 3 weeks of staying at home taking care of my baby and doing homework in between nap times I went back to school. I got occasional head turns, stares and easily readable expressions that read “She had her baby and she’s back in school”. Some actually looked surprised that I was back like “don't people like you end up dropping out? Who’s watching your kid?”. I tried to ignore it but I could feel the embarrassment in the debts of my stomach. I knew I had to prove them all wrong. I knew I had to give my son a good life, a life I had growing up.
To this very day 5 years later I still get the look of disappointment from my fathers eyes. The look of shame. I should have went to a 4 year college and gotten a bachelors degree by 24 in a field that would make me live comfortably. Well, I’m not that far off, dad. I went straight to college after high school, even though I had a baby and even got married to my baby’s father that same year. I know I shouldn’t care what people think but I can’t help it. Especially when I look up to my dad. I just want him to be proud of me.
Fast forward to May of 2019, living off welfare, I had my certified nursing assistant license and have been working as a nurse aid. I graduated from nursing school which was located in St. George Utah, about a 2 hour drive from Vegas (mind you I had to drive at least 3 hours earlier because they were an hour ahead and in a totally different time zone). Yes I went through all that with help of course and finally got my associate of science in nursing. Bravo you say? Save your applause because in a market like Vegas an associates will not cut it, especially if you want to work in a hospital. But that’s not all. I have over $5000 in credit card debt and that’s just the credit cards. I kept putting things off until I got a nursing job that will help me pay for everything: my car registration is expired, my insurance had lapsed and I have a speeding ticket turned warrant that I owe $545 !! My husband is in the same boat as he keeps getting laid off from every job imaginable. So you can image my despair when I sat down to take my NCLEX to be an official licensed registered nurse in Nevada and failed.
Prior to that I applied to every hospital in the valley. So embarrassing and such a waste of time. I thought about joining the military nurse corps but of course you need a bachelors degree to commission as an officer. So now I have to go back to school to make myself more marketable. I thought nurses were in short supply? They have been saying that for years. Turns out they’re only in short supply of EXPERIENCED nurses. Nobody has time to train a new grad and we are the worst liabilities. People lives are literally at stake and if you don’t know what your doing, guess what, they won’t hire you. There are new graduate programs some hospital offer throughout the year but as they lean more towards bachelors degree nurses (BSN) I highly doubt an new grad associates would make the cut. I’ve tired and gotten those rejection letters. “We regret to inform you....”. Yeah save it. For a 23 year old that's not bad. It’s not bad at all. But with kids? I think they deserve a little more. A house to run around in, a backyard and stable income to afford the things they need. Just in my opinion.
I'm still a girl in progress.
I mean West African culture is totally and I do mean TOTALLY different from Western (American) culture. The kids here are not interested in drugs, partying and skipping class. Due to their lack of better resources; they take what they can get and LEARN. They learn their little hearts out. Even the kids that went to an international private school I attended. So after 10 years of living in West Africa, my father decides he wants to retire from working for the U.S Embassy and move to Nevada. Yup. Viva Las Vegas. Sin City. Mob City. Turn Up Town. Whatever. What was my 16 year old self going to do in a City like that? Get knocked up within 2 years of living there of course? You guessed correctly.
On February 15, 2014 I gave birth to a baby boy who I named Jayden (no I did not give him my last name to save him from social embarrassment and bullying that I had to endure, even into adulthood). He literally changed my entire world. Imagine being the pregnant girl in AP biology, English honors and AP psychology. Right. Your smart yet dumb. Book smart, but definitely not street smart. I mean you would think that someone as academically successful as I was would use a condom right? Hah. Let us all laugh together. I thought I was invincible from becoming pregnant. You hear how to be careful and that it happens but you never actually think it’s going to happen to you... until it does. Anyway senior year I had to take off almost 3 weeks of school to take care of my newborn baby. He was born on a Saturday and I vowed to get up early Monday morning and go to school NO MATTER WHAT. I was not going to end up another statistic. African American females in the U.S who get pregnant before graduating high school and end up in poverty for the rest of their lives. Sorry but that was not going to be me.
Needless to say all the sleepless nights he kept me up breastfeeding, soothing and comforting made me extremely exhausted and I did not make it to school that Monday. My doctor told me to take 6 weeks off to heal but in 6 weeks the semester would be over. So I emailed my professors and told them that I had just given birth and my stepmom would go down to the school for me and retrieve my homework. At least I had support. So after 3 weeks of staying at home taking care of my baby and doing homework in between nap times I went back to school. I got occasional head turns, stares and easily readable expressions that read “She had her baby and she’s back in school”. Some actually looked surprised that I was back like “don't people like you end up dropping out? Who’s watching your kid?”. I tried to ignore it but I could feel the embarrassment in the debts of my stomach. I knew I had to prove them all wrong. I knew I had to give my son a good life, a life I had growing up.
To this very day 5 years later I still get the look of disappointment from my fathers eyes. The look of shame. I should have went to a 4 year college and gotten a bachelors degree by 24 in a field that would make me live comfortably. Well, I’m not that far off, dad. I went straight to college after high school, even though I had a baby and even got married to my baby’s father that same year. I know I shouldn’t care what people think but I can’t help it. Especially when I look up to my dad. I just want him to be proud of me.
Fast forward to May of 2019, living off welfare, I had my certified nursing assistant license and have been working as a nurse aid. I graduated from nursing school which was located in St. George Utah, about a 2 hour drive from Vegas (mind you I had to drive at least 3 hours earlier because they were an hour ahead and in a totally different time zone). Yes I went through all that with help of course and finally got my associate of science in nursing. Bravo you say? Save your applause because in a market like Vegas an associates will not cut it, especially if you want to work in a hospital. But that’s not all. I have over $5000 in credit card debt and that’s just the credit cards. I kept putting things off until I got a nursing job that will help me pay for everything: my car registration is expired, my insurance had lapsed and I have a speeding ticket turned warrant that I owe $545 !! My husband is in the same boat as he keeps getting laid off from every job imaginable. So you can image my despair when I sat down to take my NCLEX to be an official licensed registered nurse in Nevada and failed.
Prior to that I applied to every hospital in the valley. So embarrassing and such a waste of time. I thought about joining the military nurse corps but of course you need a bachelors degree to commission as an officer. So now I have to go back to school to make myself more marketable. I thought nurses were in short supply? They have been saying that for years. Turns out they’re only in short supply of EXPERIENCED nurses. Nobody has time to train a new grad and we are the worst liabilities. People lives are literally at stake and if you don’t know what your doing, guess what, they won’t hire you. There are new graduate programs some hospital offer throughout the year but as they lean more towards bachelors degree nurses (BSN) I highly doubt an new grad associates would make the cut. I’ve tired and gotten those rejection letters. “We regret to inform you....”. Yeah save it. For a 23 year old that's not bad. It’s not bad at all. But with kids? I think they deserve a little more. A house to run around in, a backyard and stable income to afford the things they need. Just in my opinion.
I'm still a girl in progress.
Comments
Post a Comment